Verizon Announces: New Cellphone Invented For Old People

January 31, 2012 Leave a comment

Verizon has announced today that they are coming out with a new phone for elderly people. The phone is set to debut in the summer of 2012 although they are rushing its debut for obvious reasons.

“There will be many differences with this phone as well as the monthly plan,” explained Bob, 71 year-old President of the Department of Elderly Arthritic Telephone Headquarters, the youngest President of DEATH in Verizon’s history. Read more of this post

Filed under Advertising, Business

Kobe Bryant’s Settlement Hinges on “Who Gets to keep his ‘Game’”?

January 31, 2012 Leave a comment

Vanessa Bryant filed for a divorce from Kobe Bryant in December. The divorce papers took little time to fill out, however the settlement is expected to take well over a year.

Mr. Bryant didn’t request a prenup with Vanessa due to both “love” and “great animal sex” which leaves the settlement up in the air. Read more of this post

Filed under Business, Sports

Everett Spear- The Greatest Man Ever?

January 30, 2012 Leave a comment

In honor of one of my best friend, Everett Spear’s birthday, I wanted to make note of 10 Facts about Everett that he tries to keep on the low down, but I think people should know: Read more of this post

Filed under People

Philosophy Teacher Accidentally Uses Semester to Discuss Syllabus

January 30, 2012 2 Comments

It was truly not supposed to happen like it did. The teacher had a plan to teach the entire Philosophy course to the class during the semester. The course was even approved and applauded by the head of the Philosophy department. But at the end of the semester, there was no question what had happened; the Philosophy teacher, Mr. Belmundo, had spent the entire semester discussing the syllabus. Read more of this post

Filed under Education Tagged with , ,

In Wake of Recession, Homeless Forced to Move

January 29, 2012 2 Comments

It’s something that most people don’t think about. The recession has affected the entire country. The rich must spend more modestly, and limit themselves to one private jet per household. The middle class must stop giving their kids presents for both the holidays and their birthdays. But what most people don’t realize, is that the poor have been affected by the recession as well. Specifically, the homeless. Read more of this post

Filed under Economy Tagged with ,

American Soccer Announces it Prefers to go by Futbol

January 29, 2012 Leave a comment

In a very surprising and bold, but not the least bit passive aggressive way, it was announced tonight that Soccer prefers to go by Futbol, a name that the sport once wore proudly. The American Professional Football Association was founded in 1920 and two years later became known as the NFL. Without even reasoning, the overly arrogant sport proclaimed itself Football. Read more of this post

Filed under Sports Tagged with , , ,

Business Major Breaks up with Girlfriend Professionally

January 28, 2012 1 Comment

Once he decided that he needed to break up with his girlfriend Tiffany, Jeffrey Riggens knew that his breakup did not need to be emotional. Rather, Riggens would compose himself as a business man and be professional, hoping that Tiffany would buy into why he was taking his relationship in another direction. Read more of this post

Filed under Business, Education, People Tagged with , ,

Why Plagiarism is Bad and Boring (my first post)

January 25, 2012 Leave a comment

Welcome to WordPress.com After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post. Read more of this post

Filed under Business Tagged with , , ,

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